Fatherhood Denied

Father’s Day 2017

Preface. What you are about to read may offend many. For that, I cannot apologize. The purpose of this article is not to condemn, guilt-trip or point fingers. It is to call us to give pause and consider the other side of a coin – the same coin, same brokenness and same need for love and healing, solutions and support.


Over the weekend, I've been thinking a lot about fathers, dads, papas, daddies - all celebrating Father's Day today. We have so much to be thankful for. There are amazing fathers all over the world who deserve our thanks, our praise, encouragement and gratitude for who they are and what they mean to us.

There are other men who never had the opportunity, not by their own choice but by that of a girlfriend, or perhaps a one night stand. These are the men whose girlfriends got pregnant and weren't ready to be mothers or weren't ready to accept the men in their lives for the long-haul, for keeps, for better or for worse. Maybe he wasn’t ready either. According to the State Department of Public Health (DPH), in Georgia alone 26,612 children were conceived, but never born 2015.

That's 26,612 times that motherhood was denied and fatherhood too. Not only are many women brokenhearted over the circumstances that push them toward abortion but so are the men to whom fatherhood has been denied. Sometimes, this is without their knowledge or against their wishes. Many never got a say. Since abortion was made legal in 1973 as many as 60 million men have been denied the opportunity to father their own child due to what the Supreme Court called a woman's "right" to choose, for herself for her conceived child and for her child's father too.

Understandably, many men have shied away from having a say in the result of a pleasureful night, relieved that abortion was such a "easy" fix for the inconvenience of an unplanned pregnancy, leading to an unplanned child. This is not about them. This is about the fathers who wanted a say, who wished to have children, who still mourn the loss of the child they could not protect and never held in their arms. This is also about the man who didn't realize it then, but does now...

Statistically, one in four women have had an abortion. Imagine. There is always another person (in addition to the unborn) in the equation and yet they've been so forgotten and pushed into a corner, eliminated from the conversation and for bidden to feel – rather for a bit and to speak, and while women have that much of a silencing they have allowed themselves to be silenced.

Men must not be silent. We, as a society, our country, our world will not survive if men are silent, if they don't have a say, if they are not men of integrity, trustworthy, dependable and responsible to the women they love and the children they conceive. We need men to speak up. We need men to protect, honor, and love the women in their lives and their children. When they don't, families fall apart and children reflect our family's brokenness and society reflects it also.

Ladies, it's okay to need the men in our lives, to respect them and listen to their say. Men, I pray you have courage to be men of strength and purpose, kindness and faithfulness.

Children born and unborn will benefit from this kind of strength shown by men and women and, Lord willing, we will become a society which celebrates even unexpected fatherhood with less fatherhood denied.

Editor’s Note: As if to punctuate the article here, I ran across an article titled “Men Have Abortions Too”on LifeSiteNews, originally from Save The Storks. Your stories are welcome here and so are you. I’d love to hear from you if you’d like to share.

[1] https://oasis.state.ga.us/ Induced Terminations

#Fathers #FathersDay #Abortion #Men #Parenthood #Fatherhood #Twitty

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